Sunday 1 April
April fools' day and I'm not laughing. I feel weird and I keep thinking about bad stuff. I mean why did that stuff happen to me? I was a good kid, polite and went to school. Maybe I should start my meds again, but they make me feel like I'm out of my body. I hate that, like I'm looking at me being me! I'll go for a walk in the park, see if that helps.
Monday 2 April
The park was ok yesterday but I hate seeing happy families! Does my head in cos I didn't have that growing up. All I got was heartache and misery. I can't be bothered eating, I'm just going to drink some vodka and sleep all day.
Tuesday 3 April
God, why can't I sleep without the nightmares! I was totally knocked out by the vodka, so couldn't wake myself up. Horrible nightmares of that man and my mum. My mum doing nothing to save me from her precious boyfriend! Bloody evil bitch! I hate you mum! Guess a walk to Bargain Booze might clear my head.
Wednesday 4 April
I've got a crappy hangover and I can't stop thinking about my mum, the cow! I still see that man mauling me and I still smell his stench on me! How could you mum? How could he? I was 10 years old for God's sake! I've still got some vodka left anyway.
Thursday 5 April
Tried to speak to my sister today, but she's too busy, as usual. She hates me cos I remind her that she had a crap childhood too. All the same abuses but she somehow gets on by blanking it out. I just interfere with her management of the demons. I've got no one to talk to except the vodka and you, dear diary.
Friday 6 April
I feel manic today, bloody full moon! I'm not taking my meds though cos I'd rather be manic than absent from my body. Maybe if I took a few meds I would be able to sleep without seeing the demons? Just a few with my vodka wouldn't harm me, just for one night of peace. Night night dear diary, my only friend x
Saturday 7 April
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